You may have a desire to open this blog and read it because you though that you might read a blog with gorey details of sin in a Pastor's life. What I am about to share many have encountered and also been guilty of. I will give God the glory for what He did to prevent me from sinning.
In 1992 I committed my life to Jesus and gave it totally to Him. Every bit and not just part. It has been the greatest blessing in which I could ever receive, and at many times it has been the battleground of a war that tends to rage against me to may times. It has been the one sole thing that has held me together for over 21 years, and the one sole thing that keeps me going.
The past month placed a heavy load on my spirit and heart. My daughter Layne and her family was in from Africa and I wanted to spend time with her family, I was out of town, and on another weekend I was feeling under the weather. Time had slipped by and I had not made but one visit to teach at the detention center on a sturday morning. This morning I woke up and knew that I needed to go to the detention center, but everything in me was nto wanting to go. As I drove to church to get my guitar thoughts kept ringing through my ears that I can just call in and wait for next week when Judy could once again join me. The the worst though reared its filthy head and I started questiong if what I was doing ws even worth it. I waited in my office up to the time I left and all I could say was "Help me Jesus." I drove slowly towards the detention center and even thought about turning back. Before I pushed the ringer the door unlocked. As I walked through all three of the doors my spirit began to give me peace. I walked through the fourth and final door and immediately I was welcomed by the staff and the majority of the kids "Good morning Pastor Pete." This morning I found myself amongst one of the largest numbers of kids that the place can hold. Usually the kids are a little timid to sing, and I shared with them that they were not singing to their neighbors or themselves, but they were singing to Jesus. They sang louder than ever singing Sing to the King who is coming to reign. We walked through John 15 and Luke 15 together and they all participated. We finished the morning singing JJ Hellers song 'Love Me.' Tears flowed and hearts melted as they sang "Who will love me for me." When it came to an end there was a large number of kids wanting to talk with me and pray.
Being a Pastor is not easy. Being a Christian is even harder. I am confessing that "Yes' even I am tempted to live for me, and please myself when God knows what is best. Best not just for me, but for you also. If we live our lives, even when the pull of this world is grasping at us, living, loving and serving Jesus and others, our lives will be full to the brim. Compassion will overflow out of our souls, and our love for Him and others will keep us full. So next time you think "No", get up and "Go!"
